On the Balls of Our A$$ets

During my recent search for a new career, I've noticed a trend towards AOA. That's short for an "abundance of acronyms" dominating job descriptions. Now I'm already lacking confidence entering the fray, what with me being in my 40s and having an irrational fear of Pinterest, what I don't need is to not even be able to understand what it is a potential employer would like me to know. English is my first language. In fact, it's my only language (unless you count the Pig Latin I'm perfecting in the afternoons with my children) so that's another problem. But as I peruse these openings, I'm finding them harder to understand than Puff Daddy. I feel like they're written in code only Mensa members and "Jeopardy" champions are privy to. I'll be honest, I've had to Google CRM  (Customer Relationship Management), MRM (Marketing Resource Management), MCCM (Multi-Channel Campaign Management) and AWBOOSIDU (A Whole Bunch of Other Sh

When my husband lost his job, the first thing he did (after he took a victory lap around our house) was join a gym. During his long work days, which included riding a train for close to 3 hours and sitting at a desk for nearly 9, he grew to believe that his sedentary lifestyle was killing him. Now I equate exercise with drinking lighter fluid: yes, I could do it, but it would probably be painful, ergo why would I want to? But he somehow convinced me that this was how he wanted to spend all that money he was saving by not needing a monthly train pass or Metro card. (He had simultaneously taken over all the laundry responsibilities, so how could I say no?) Also, his quest to "get buff" as our 8 year old says, caused me to take a long, hard look in the mirror. While I wasn't Carni Wilson just yet, I couldn't keep pretending that the dryer was shrinking all my pants week after week, especially the pairs that never left the closet because I couldn't button them in

It had been a while since my husband had liked his job. And when I say "a while" I mean a decade. So when he called to tell me he'd been laid off in November I shouldn't have been surprised that he sounded like he'd just solved the final puzzle on "Wheel of Fortune." In the days that followed, friends and family called to check on him. Each remarked at how "happy" and "relieved" he sounded. Yes, he started his days before roosters were stirring, and, yes, he felt like he was going nowhere there, and, yes, it was a long commute, but still, it was a good income with great benefits. How was he not even the least bit nervous? I, on the other hand, had been expecting to be let go from my job for the better part of 6 months. Yet somehow I'd hung on through multiple rounds of cruel, "Survivor"-esque lay offs. If anyone was going to cash in their chips, hand in their company-iPhone and walk away from the virtual office, it w

With both my husband and me out of work at the same time for the first time, well, ever, this seems like a good time to put fingers to keyboard and capture our daily musings as we navigate this new frontier. Come along for the ride as we bicker about who knows less about Microsoft Office Suite and why the car keys never end up in the same place twice.